JUMPING OFF THE CLIFF OF SAMENESS OR SANENESS?
Today is Valentines Day. My family celebrated Valentines Day by making cards to share with my daughter’s classmates and to send out to the aunties, uncles, and the grandparents. The best Valentine’s Day card I got this year came from my neighbors:
Otherwise, I find it funny, being a holiday of love, I don’t tend to do much for it. I feel love everyday so, this is just another day. But I acknowledge that this holiday is a “big deal” in society, so I am happy to play along with hearts and I’m always all for sharing messages of love. So here goes.
This past month and a half, the energy has been turbulent. I have had to give up multiple times on any efforts to see the future or to understand what role I have to play in that future. My ego has been challenged with this. Why am I so inspired to start 4 major projects at once, when 1 is usually all I can handle? Will any of these projects go anywhere? Am I just entertaining myself? Does it matter? As Bashar says, “Follow your greatest excitement. It will lead you to wear you need to be.” Why the heck does my excitement have me pursuing so many seemingly unrelated avenues?
Quite honestly, total chaos is what this feels like, along with plenty of resistance in my ego, but the only way to get that voice in my head spouting insecurities to shut-up is to give up and give in to the potential of what could be and accept that I have no freaking idea of what is about to happen, so I might as well play and entertain myself while I’m sitting here. What I do have is a strong feeling, and that feeling is very uncomfortable right now.
I feel like I’ve been holding my breath a bit this year so far in an effort to stay buoyant on the 2012- 2013 transformative wave. Surfing this wave, as you my also be experiencing, has felt like riding on a wave that is way bigger than anything I’m used to, and I wobble as I ride between thoughts of, “I’ve got this one… oh, no, I’m going to go under… oh, okay, maybe I can stay up!” The “I” in all that is the problem here. And as we all know, holding my breath is a very goofy thing to do when trying to go with the flow. Admittedly, as my daughter would say, “I am a very goofy bird”.
It was reassured to read Lauren Gorgo’s latest post and know that there is another celestial benchmark, the Equinox, to set as my next permission slip to continue breathing and just relax and go with the flow. Also, glad to hear that this turbulence is a part of the plan and going as expected. I’m glad someone still believes that there is a plan. Was I really expecting things to move even faster than they are? Yes, but I am also a speedy speedster. I’m used to uncomfortable as long as it’s exciting, in fact I’m more uncomfortable when things stay the same. Consistence makes me squirm in my seat.
But, it’s been the lack of solid ground anywhere that makes me look down and doubt my ability to surf, so often. Perhaps I should just choose to address both: plan on not drowning while flying on top of the wave. Sounds hard. See how ridiculous and round about I go to get there? Meanwhile anyone who surfs knows that: A. you don’t ride on top of the wave, doing that will only get you left behind, missing the wave, or worse, pull you into the wave where you will be chewed up and spit out in little pieces, and B. that you let the wave push you, not the other way around. Perhaps, I should just choose to sit down on my board to steady it and let the wave take me where it will. Yes, that seems a more appropriate a solution, albeit not as goofy. I will find other ways to entertain myself, I’m sure. After all, I am a goofy bird.
Meanwhile, I have been exceptionally blessed to have a small circle of friends and family who have materialized, and re-materialized, over the course of the last 6 months, that are with me riding this wave. For them, I am eternally grateful, for if it were not for them I would just think I was certifiably crazy. So today, when on 2 separate accounts I was reminded that there are doubts of whether or not the rest of society is going to join in our “new paradigm”, or if we’re just going to remain a niche corner labeled “eco-conscious, spiritual nuts” by society, I had to pause. Is the rest of society with us or outside of us? I am not sure, but ultimately, they are US. What we see out there is a perfect reflection of what we have in here. Sucks as that may be, we clearly still have work to do on the inside.
I am however, feeling the wave of change and I see the signs on the faces and in the hearts of everyone I come in contact with, whether they are aware of it or not. Believe it or not, I even see it in the news. All this change is a huge challenge, and generally, really uncomfortable. Today I heard the words “Most humans will not change until forced,” from 3 different sources. Ok, I got the memo. But I feel the force right now, very strong, pushing us along. Nothing and no one will look the same. We know this. Many of us are facing the scariest, most painful memories, fears, and beliefs which do not suit our true vibrations. We’re being forced to face them and clear them, and if we do not, they will play over and over until we do. You might find yourself stuck on “Solaris”.
Let’s see, live in a perpetual nightmare or give up and jump into the pool of the unexpected. Not much of a choice there if you ask me. I’ll eat a big slice of humble pie and pick what I don’t know over repeating more of the same any day, even if it is uncomfortable. And believe me, as a proud-talker, humble pie is not a flavor that goes down easily for me.
However, for many, this discomfort can more than uncomfortable, it can be downright painful. I see that in those around me, and I feel those vibrations, as they are mine as much as they are yours. We have the power and the knowledge to get through even the most challenging belief structures. We will be stronger and brighter very soon. But in the meantime, when feelings of discomfort, sadness, and pain show up, I go into the space inside my heart to help create buoyancy for all of us. We are free and can choose any outcome we wish. We have the support of many in this and we each hold the mirror up for each other to see. We must be careful with our words and only reflect the kindest most loving visions of and for each other.
We are beings of light and love, and infinite possibility, who can choose to cross into parallel universes instantly to shift any situation to better resonate with our true essence. Choose carefully, and happy surfing!
THE TRANSFORMATIVE STATE 