PROCEED WITH CAUTION
Oh, what a hangover! This has been quite the party, but I think I have finally swallowed as much of my own medicine as I can take. Once again I point to myself as an example of what not to do. Lessons learned. As it turns out, I was fooling myself. Why should I save the world? I can hardly save myself!
Please forgive me for my previous fighting stance. I should not have have dug the hole so deep and with such gusto. Now I have an enormous pit of pain to address and two clear options for proceeding:
- Acknowledge my response-ability. Heal. Fill the hole with something new. Move on.
- Jump in the hole and and wallow in the muck like a dumb, reactive animal.
The lamb was actually a wolf. The wolf was actually a broken version of me. Fix what is broken, and there is nothing else we need to do here. This is easier said than done.
As a spirit with a soul and body on earth, the pendulum swings both ways. I’ve gone from a state of divine being in consciousness and light to being attacked and possessed by demons with equal consciousness power and influence- used as a tool. I’ve gone from transforming the planet to being a GMO plant seed, from being a mutating alien to being an embryonic stem-cell forced to become a mutant. There is no question about it- that ain’t right. I’m tired and weary, I’m slightly cranky (mostly at myself), and I’m walking on a knife’s edge, where there is no room for more mistakes. We have one planet, yet two paths are emerging: choose to fight the world, or fight yourself to choose.
I look around at people living their lives, struggling, enjoying their pleasures. Within myself I see a beast duking it out with my spirit for my right to be a sentient, conscious, divine-sovereign being in a twisted, multi-dimensional, dog-eat-dog world. What are the dogs after? My home, my attention, my emotional energy, my physical resources, my body, my family, and, most important, my soul-spirit connection. Give them an inch of the soul, and they will quickly grab for the rest. Do I want to be here? I think not. Can I save anyone else? No way. Look for real-life examples, and save yourselves. Can I get out with soul and spirit intact? It will be a miracle.
What’s the score? It is ever changing. I am still here. Earth is changing rapidly. Fear programs are still running a-muck, particularly between midnight and 3:00 am. Karma, acknowledged and accepted, is kicking my ass and whipping me back into my whole spirit. Still more work to do. My heart aches, my throat feels choked, and confrontations with snake infested power structures make me shake like a leaf. But I walk on the line. I slip. I am fine. I am intact- my mind careful and watchful, in high security mode, soul presently commanding (or should I say demanding?) that I own myself, spirit quietly mending itself in the background.
I battle with myself every day. I’d like to erase all of history. I’d like to break every human bond I have ever had. Send me to the rock where there are only plants, water, air, and the soft sweetness of nature. No humans. No culture. No civilization. No society. Make me that rock. I don’t want eyes to see any of it.
I refuse to exist in a polarized, artificial, pseudo-human matrix created on Earth. I notice, when given too much space and time, almost all social interactions can turn as volatile and creepy as this photo. Funny, or just plain messed up? I can no longer laugh at what is meant to be ironic. The subtleties are uncomfortable, abusive, and wrong.
Creepy. With every poor, ironic joke, we give another piece of our selves away. Truth. Most jokes are not that funny, and people treat their lives (and other people’s lives) as if we’re playing a mean-spirited game. Watch carefully what people laugh at. Unless it comes from a young child, it’s almost never funny. A judgmental, impersonal life wasted on Facebook; overdramatized and shallow news and media; idealistic and hopelessly broken political systems; impossible, fairy-tale visions of love and marriage- all depressing. Our busy work, careers, and jobs? Empty escapes from a hollowed lives. How did we get here? More important, if this is a game, what are its rules? The multidimensional matrix underlying the space-time continuum on one of the parallel Earth options presenting now involves a pseudo-human society which appears to follow these rules:
- If one succeeds, another must fail.
- If one acquires a fortune, poverty and misfortune must increase for others.
- If one is happy, another must be unhappy.
- When humans thrive, part of Earth must die.
- To get what you want, you have to take it from someone or something else.
- If you care for yourself, you must care less for others.
- Luxury is bondage and abuse.
- We become the prisoner of anyone we rescue.
- For society and culture to thrive, we all must be slaves.
- The more pleasure you take, the more bondage you make.
- Every time you think you win, you actually lose.
I see people walking and talking like they are “winners”, but this is a losers’ game. Nobody wins here. This is not fun. Why does anyone play by these stupid rules? Why do I play by these stupid rules?!?
As I think I have mentioned before, I hate games, and this game in particular sucks. In fact, I think the game has gotten consistently suckier. Have I wandered into some kind of soul sucking vacuum or something? Seal this. I refuse to play this game anymore.
I’m going to come over here and play a new game. With new rules. Actually, these are new-old rules, and if you have any interest in playing with me, you must follow them. They are are as follows:
- Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. (Think carefully about what you want done unto you. Think hard before you act. Be kind to yourself).
- Follow your joy; question your pleasure. Only one of those leads to freedom and happiness.
- Life is pain. But, pain is an illusion. Do not avoid it. Go through it and get over it.
- Keep a wary eye out for fakes and phonies. If there is any question about the matter, put on the breaks. Don’t invite an invasion on your game. Do not play, interact, or engage with trouble or those who do not follow the rules of this game. Everyone is in this game, or not.
- Question, cancel, and say “no” to any terms of agreement that are confusing, complicated, unspoken, unclear, or just plain don’t feel right.
- Notice and acknowledge synchronous occurrences and déjà-vu. Don’t miss anything. Hints and instructions are embedded in the game. Stay alert. Stay on top of the details.
- All who are friendly, kind, faithful, trustworthy, and honest are successes in life and can be my friend. I support them and they will support me.
- Nobody needs much stuff. Ask for permission before taking anything. Respect all resources and only take what you need and have permission to use.
- People and nature are more important than money, power, or property.
- Work is merely one of the many things we do. It is not what we are.
- Real people engage with each other face-to-face, look each other in the eye, and listen carefully to each other’s words.
- No one needs other people, but they may be nice to be around. Or not.
- Individuals are responsible for protecting the boundaries of their own bodies, minds, spirits, and souls. Respect the boundaries of other people’s bodies, minds, spirits and souls while you’re at it.
- If you don’t know the answer, ask your spirit and listen to the response. Your spirit always has the answer.
- People always win their own games. Don’t enter into anyone else’s game.
- Dream it. See it. Make it. Own it. Be a response-able creator.
I’ve given up on wishing for sunshine and lollipops. Rain must fall, and rainbows do not necessarily follow. I am happy on my own. I am responsible for caring for myself and any minors I take under my care. Nothing can get between me and that role.
I am not leaving until the job is done. The job is to reclaim and rebuild my mind, body, soul, and spirit as one strong, whole me. I will not live on an Earth that is not supported, co-operative, or governed by the laws of the Universe, not for anyone.
Those are my rules.
THE TRANSFORMATIVE STATE 